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The journey to happiness in motherhood

Being a mum can be full of challenges, there's no doubt about that.  However in anything you read from me you will find me saying that it is never the events that cause us to feel stressed, it is how we think about those events that causes the stress.  This blog is all about helping you to change the way you think about the challenges of motherhood as well as how you think about yourself and your life.  It is my intention to offer you thought provoking blogs and ways that you can train your mind to look at life in an inspired, positive and realistic way so that you can feel great and experience an amazing life...and of course pass this way of thinking down to your child.


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Thursday, 17 September 2009

I was just reflecting over the past 2 years of my life and how far I have come since those angry, sad days where I had had enough of being a mum and just wanted to run away from it all.  I still vividly remember the day where I lost the plot, bawling in my bedroom at my lowest when it suddenly dawned on me that no one was going to change this for me, that only I could make the changes that I needed to make in order to live a happier life.  From the darkest, saddest, most heartbreaking period of my life, came the biggest lightbulb moment I have ever had and it has all been uphill from there.

It was as if an angel was talking to me that day and spurred inside of me inspiration and a burning desire beyond comprehension (it drives my husband crazy sometimes).  From this moment of inspiration, came 12 months of writing, creating this website, then selling everything and travelling around australia with my family, to finding the Australian Depression Institute and learning their fantastic new method that not only can I use to help others, but to help myself and really understand my true worth and why I am valuable in this world when the going is tough and when the going is great. 

The events that have transpired into my life since that day in my bedroom with tears streaming down my cheeks have been truly inspiring to me.

So thinking about these events today has caused me to feel a tremendous amount of joy for my life.  I finally feel as if I am at a point in my life where I have the tools that I need to handle all the ups and downs that life presents to me and that these tools give me the opportunity to learn and grow as a person. But just as importantly, these tools are helping me to help others to do the same, and that is the most gratifying and soul enriching part of why I feel happy.

Because of this, I really wanted to share with you what I believe is the perfect combination to living an inspired and happy life.  So in summary, here they are:

1.  Love yourself.  You are worthy just the way that you are, because you exist.  You contribute to the world just by being in it.  If you took you out of the equation all of the dynamics around you change and people don't learn what they learn from you.  We all have ups and downs and you are worthy throughout all of your experiences because you are learning about life and teaching others about their life, thus your value to this world and proof of your worthiness, lies in your very existence.

2.  Give, give, give.  Make it a part of your day, everyday to give something to someone or give them a part of yourself.  This can be as simple as a smile, a compliment, a little thank you note, a present or something bigger.  It doesn't take much, but you will be amazed at how good you feel for making a difference to someone else's life.  That's another reason why I love my job so much, because I get to make a difference.

3.  Gratitude. Learn to find the value in all of your experiences, because there always is.  No matter how difficult the circumstances there is always something to be grateful for, or something that you have learnt or are learning from that situation. Try listing all of the things that you are grateful for and observe how differently you feel after writing this list.

4. Forgiveness.  Let go of all the hatred or resentment you have towards other people.  They don't know how to behave any differently for they are only operating out of their belief system, just like you are. Besides, you can't change what someone else does, you can only change what happens within you.  Let go of the past and accept that how you are living is the reality now, regardless of how you got to that point.  If you follow point 3, then it may make it a little easier to do step 4.  Forgiveness is not about saying that someone's behaviour is okay, it's about releasing you from the ugliness you feel when you hold onto anger, hatred and resentment.

This is it for now, I have more to offer you but must get back to my beautiful children who are gracing me with half an hour to myself to write these words to you.  Thanks kids.

Bye for now and take care of yourself, you are soo precious to so many around you!!!!




Posted by: Jackie Hall AT 10:13 pm   |  Permalink   |  Email
Sunday, 06 September 2009

My husband and I were having a conversation tonight about the news and the increasing amount of violence that is happening in the world, which has always been the case, and is increasingly becoming the case in Australia.  He was saying how over suburbia he is and how he just wanted to go out into the country where it was simple and peaceful and away from all of this drama and hatred.

While I totally agree with him that I would like to live in the country, there is a strong part of me that doesn't want to turn my back on where the world is upto either.  More and more as I enter into this field of personal development, I am inspired and driven beyond anything I have ever done, to do my bit to help humanity change the way we look at each other.

I have recently moved from Melbourne from QLD and I can't help but notice how different it is from where I've come from.  People down here are so money driven and social butterflies, always looking for the next activity to provide some stimulation (or distraction).  There is a work hard to earn money attitude and then maybe we can go on a holiday and kick back for a couple of week in a year, if we can afford it.  There seems to be a competition for who earns the most money, wears the best fashion, looks the best, is the smartest, or anything that any majority of a group deems as a standard.

But let's strip all that back.  Take away the stimulation, the money, the clothes and let's all stand side by side, naked without our possessions or our distractions and take a real good look at one another.  Who are you that is my friend?  What are your dreams, your goals, your desires?  What are you inner most thoughts and feelings about yourself and this life you are living?    Tell me who you are without all these..things and let me really love you for who you are, not this mask you present to me that covers up who you really are.

I don't want to love you because of how much you earn, or who your husband is.  I don't want to love what country you've come from or for the many labels that you put on yourself and present to the world.  I want to connect with the real you, the one who loves and laughs and cries and hurts, just like me. I want to see you as you really are, a human being with emotions, fears, hopes and dreams, just like anybody else.

You see, there is a very strong part of me that sees this disconnection from other people in various forms, like judgementalism, victimisation, bullying, violence, deliberate pushing each other down so you can look better, and there's a part of me that is so saddened by all this, and part of me that is inspired to get out there and start talking to people.  Start "BE{ing} the Change that I wish to see in the world" (Ghandi), start teaching people how to love each other for who they are and look past the masks that they are being shown.

I want to help people strip away the pretentiousness of their lives and feel, really feel what life can offer you.  I want to teach people to let go of hate, blame, and anger towards others and see how conflict is just a difference in beliefs and that there is no right and wrong way to live.  We are all the same, it is just our beliefs that we feel defines us and allows us to separate ourselves from one another.  But when you take a step back from these labels and beliefs that we define ourselves with, take off our expensive or ratty clothes, take off our makeup, take away our beautiful house or cardboard box that we live in, and stand side by side, we are no different from the person next to us.  Get to know him or her, like really get to know them and you will find that they have the same emotions and needs. 

Touch, love, acceptance, belonging, affection, appreciation, respect, learning, experiencing, teaching and connectedness.  Strip away the facade and this is ultimately what all of us are seeking.  You, your husband, your children, your friends, your neighbours, your teachers, strangers in the street, the Aussies, the Chinese, The Iraqi, the Middle Eastern, Africans, Americans, everybody.  Separate the human from the behaviour and start to see what they are trying to achieve.  It is all in the name of one of these that we are all seeking.

If we all stopped hating the behaviour that we see and starting loving the human being behind that behaviour that is just trying to get one or more of these things, then we can teach them, through our love how to redirect their efforts to obtain these things.  Sending out more hate when we see hate, only contributes more to the hate in this world.  Understanding, compassion, love and time is the only way that we are going to change this world that we are in.

That is what I feel when I see violence and nastiness on TV.  How can I reach more people and love them, connect with them and help them to feel good about themselve and learn to love others, so that they can spread that message to those around them.  Now is not the time to turn our backs on this situation and live where we can't see it.  Now is the time to fight for change, not by fighting back, but by stripping back the layers.  Understand why people do things and teach them another way.  Because you will find, that ALL undesirable behaviours has its essence in trying to achieve a higher self-worth, and we are all beautiful exactly the way we are......all of you!  See if you can start practicing really understanding the people around you, especially the ones that you find the most difficult.  What is that they are trying to achieve and maybe help them to achieve that, instead of hating them for it.  After all, you are seeking it too, are you not?

Good night.


Posted by: Jackie Hall AT 07:27 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
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The information within this website and The Happy Mum Handbook available for purchase in the shopping cart, are designed to provide advice and suggestions on the subject matter covered from the perspective of a mother and life coach.  In no way is it designed to be a substitute for psychological, financial, legal, or any other professional advice.  If expert assistance or counselling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.