Motherhood and Guilt seem to go hand in hand.  Why is that?  I am yet to meet a mother who has not had a conversation that starts with, "I feel so guilty because......"

As I discovered and explored in my own life, behind the guilt that I felt about being a mother, regardless of what it was about, there was a hidden 'should'.  Something that I 'should' be doing other than what I was actually doing.

I recently heard Louise Hay in here DVD - You Can Heal Your life, say that she wished that people would eliminate the word 'should' from their vocabulary.  She went on to say that 'should' indicates that you either are wrong, were wrong or you are going to be wrong.  Think about it.  When you think that you should be doing, saying or behaving any other way than what you actually are, you are making yourself wrong.

Motherhood is a trial and error and it is not about being wrong, it is learning a new skill.  Just taking notice of how many times you scold yourself for a 'should' that you aren't doing, may help you to minimise your guilt.  Instead, think about the expectations (your shoulds) that you have and analyse them.  Decide whether they are your 'shoulds' or someone else's 'shoulds'. 

By using the word 'should' when you feel guilty, you are also indicating that there is some other behaviour or experience that should be happening.  Ask yourself why you aren't doing that now?  Why aren't you doing what you believe you 'should' be? 

The reason is because you have made what you are actually doing a priority.  It is a priority because you believe it is the important thing to do.  For example, if you feel guilty because you are working instead of being at home with your child, then you are working because you have made it a priority to work.  This is neither right or wrong, it is reality.  You are doing what you are doing because you have made it a priority to do this due to the information you had at the time you decided to do it.

In The Happy Mum Handbook you will look at the real reasons why you feel so guilty and how you are prioritising the things in your life that are making you feel guilty.  You will understand how you have come to make the decisions that you have and learn how to either accept these decisions as being what is best for you and your family, or you will learn how to change your life so you are doing what you 'should' be doing.  Again this book will show you how you can alleviate guilt using  The Mind TRACK to Happiness process.